That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
3 2 1 whiskey
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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