How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
