He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
