Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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