I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
