It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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