I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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