hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
