i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
