Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
