yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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