i just had sex bonerless
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
