Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
