ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
