i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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