We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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