Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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