We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
