Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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