I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
