so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
