This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
