I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
