going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
