She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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