I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
