he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
