So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
