Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
its liver damage thursday
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
