I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
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A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
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My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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