Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
