he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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