I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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