I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
