Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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