i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
