I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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