I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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