Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
