I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize