Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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