I heard we made out
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
