I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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