she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
