so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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