She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There r osticjed everywhere
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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