My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
