I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
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THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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