I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
