All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We left the knife in your bed.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
