I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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