so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
