i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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