yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
