you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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