Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
