So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
