i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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