So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
