The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
