so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
