Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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