so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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