I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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