spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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