If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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