it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
