My balls are so social today.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
