If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
