I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
