she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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