making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.