I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
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He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
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I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?